On Fandom

I'm not going to lie at ya. I'm a Japanophile. I'm obsessed with Japanese culture, mainly animation and comics. Like most crappy American weeaboos, I know nothing about actual Japanese culture. I'm only aware of the aesthetic of Japan. I only know it's shell. I only know it's appearance. That being said, I don't know if I'm qualified to be a critic of this phenomenon, seeing as I am a part of it. I hate Japan-fanboys. They're awful people. There's an air of a superior, "more informed than thou" attitude about them, even though there all just as unenlightened, if not more so than the rest of us. They claim to see, although their obsession blinds them.

Much of the Japanese culture that weeaboos are obsessed with seems to be the superficial culture which is a Japanese mistranslation of American/Urbanized/Global-Pop Culture, which takes the qualities of the aforementioned, and only glosses over them, memorizing the key points, drawing wireframes, imitating the style, then pouring the mess into a mold and mass producing it. The weeaboos then take this refined, artificial glaze, and repeat the process once more. What's left is a shell of a shell. The zeal of the American otaku is like someone synthesizing the taste of aspartame.

Okay, that's enough on American based Japanese sub culture fandom. I wanted to talk about fandom in general. People dedicate their lives to fandom. Myself included. I've poured hours and hours into videogames, animation, comics, music, basically any form of media. Not just partaking in these media either. To be considered a fan, you must participate in the community. Post on fan-forums, create fan-art, argue with other fans, browse fan-merchandise, look it up on Wikipedia, research the auteur's other works, argue with people both within and without the community about the merits of the work, and the subtleties lying hidden inside...... BUT WHY?! Why do we do this? Why? It gets us NOTHING. You can't get a job doing it, well very few can, you can't eat it, it doesn't fulfill you. It's worthless. It's okay to enjoy media, but why waste more time than necessary?

Then it hit me, why be a fan of media when I can be a creator. The fans are chumps. They dedicate themselves to the works of others for no gain, when they could be doing works of their own, and reaping the benefits. BECOME THE OBJECT OF FANDOM. I think it would be much more satisfying and fulfilling. I admire the ability of the creators to inspire emotions and ideas in me, so why can't I do the same for others?

I have thus made a resolution. Having experienced being a fan, I would like to also experience being the object of fandom. From today onward, I will be a fan no longer! Any efforts I would have made to further my fanboyness will now be dedicated to the pursuit of my own fulfillment, my own accomplishment, my own fame and fortune.

Good night.

Terrible People

Hey everybody! It's time to complain about people I don't like! This is going to make me sound like a total douche, but everyone I know except for a few people I know is a terrible person. Seriously. I hate people. When I read Youtube comments, or hear people talking on the bus, or watch entertainment "news", or even just go for a stroll and overhear terrible conversations. How can everyone be so oblivious to how terrible they are? Everything they talk about is so awful. There were these two girls I knew from grade school, and continued to be acquainted with during high school. They were good girls. Pretended to be Christians. Pretended not to mean anybody any harm. Pretended to be just carefree, ideal, high school girls. But they are honestly two of the people I hate most in the entire world. They would always have their girl talk sooooo loud. Their problems were so secular, so worldy, and above all, just cod jam stupid. They would blab and blab without end about some "funny" story that was not funny in the slightest... and well... I just can't describe it. It was kind of like watching The View. Then the rumours came. Apparently the both of them screwed some other douche at the same time. Yeah, that's right. Threesome. Whores. Just a bunch of whores. Everyone is a liar. Everyone puts on their best face for church.It was so painful to overhear. There were these other sassy gangsta girls on my bus that were pretty bad too. Instead of those terrible ladies on The View, they were like those girls on Maury. They would trash talk about some other girls, and talk about their pseudo-sexual exploits, and go on about how people just don' understan' dem. But they were trashy people. At least they were not trying to be good people. They were just trash. They were not trash in lambs' skin. Ugh. I hated them a lot too, but I hated those other two more. Then there were those stupid guidos from class. All they would talk about is their stupid football, or how much they could bench, or how some kid was talkin smack, and how some kids just don't have any respect, or how many collars they could pop in 30 seconds. Those boys were nothing but bags of meat. Meat. Meat meat meat. Then there were the "rejects" the kids who secretly and sometimes not so secretly hated the meat. They congregated in the halls, obstructing foot traffic, and would glare at stuff with all kinds of disdain. They didn't even know what it was they were disdaining at. Disdain was just their default reaction. Just all the time. Ooooh look at me, I'm so ironic. Ooooh I'm going to use that word too much, along with awkward and sick and sweet. Those guys branched off eventually and turned into those stupid wannabe musician kids who were a little more colourful than their predecessors, but twice as annoying. They would all lie on the internet, about their childhoods are high school experiences, making their Myspaces paint them as some kind of honest weirdo outcast who just happens to make really cool music. They seem to have some kind of cause that they're supporting, but they don't, and so they be really vague and philosophical. They all try to do religion in some weird way. The easiest one is to be atheist or some eastern religion that they only have a tiny grasp on, and have mostly learned about from TV, but then there are the ones who try to be neo-Christians or something. They're all Wikipedia philosophers and theologians, and believe themselves to be self aware. I know a couple of these guys. One of them just flat out sucks as a musician. He just keeps trying though. I've got to admire that. But he's still darned annoying. He's "all about the music" and thinks he can make a living. Jeez. What a fool. Those glasses are so rose coloured that he can't see out of them. Then there's this other new douche I've just met who is basically just some hedonistic whore who paints himself the patron saint of the indie scene. Pretending to be some honest musician. He's shit. His music is actually not so bad, but the man is just bandwagon indie shit. Ugh. I hate that guy.

That is all.

How to take cool pictures

Now I realize the whole "myspace picture" joke has been beaten to death for some years now, as are myspace jokes in general, I feel this is still relevant. Taking cool pictures used to be more straightforward. You wear skanky clothes, wear too much eye makeup, then do a smexy pose. It was all good and fun. But the times have changed. Now, people are expected to have pictures which portray themselves in a more artistic, and sophisticated way. And thus, a whole new slew of cliches have developed. And now, may I present to you...

HOW TO TAKE COOL PICTURES
1) Don't smile, or smile wistfully, and with sincerity, as if the act of photographing yourself has reminded you of the carefree and joyous days of your childhood, which brings a subtle warmness into your heart.

2) Use black and white, or black and white and one very striking, vibrant colour.

3) Try to relate yourself to other artsy things. For example, try holding a writing utensil, brush, or musical instrument, while looking pensive and focused. Wearing headphones is really cool now too. Not like earbuds, those are for plebes, but like the big retro earmuff ones.

4) Try super close-ups, obscuring parts of your face. The eyes must be included, however. Funny angles can help.

5) Make it look like it only took one take to get the right shot, instead of the fifty it actually took. Make it seem like an amateur was haphazardly taking photos with an old film camera, and this one was the one that upon development, unexpectedly turned out to be beautiful.

6) Pick only non-brand name clothing to wear in your photo. Wear a shirt with an obscure band on it. Try wearing plaid flannel shirts. The grunge fad is old enough now that it's ironically popular again. Or try a nice sweater that's maybe a little too big, or a little too snug. Make sure it doesn't look like you're trying too hard.

7) Don't spend too much time on your hair. In fact, try messing it up. Make the whole process look spontaneous and geniune.

8) Make sure your shot isn't full frontal. Profiles are good. Anything where you're not looking directly at the camera is good. Just try concentrating on the memories of a dream you once had as a kid, while staring into the distance. Pretend you don't know the camera is there.

9) It helps if you wear glasses. Squarish thick rims are best.

10) Be a douche.

On Superpowers

So I'm fairly sure I am in possession of superpowers. In fact, multiple superpowers. For starters, I'm partially immortal. I'm mostly invulnerable, for example, I will remain unharmed when subjected to, lets say, puppies, or linoleum tiles, or evenings in late Autumn. I can create life given food. I transmute oxygen into carbon dioxide via alchemy. I'm a psychokinetic. I can transform will and thought into changes in the physical world. When I so will it, I can make this fleshy, lumpy, limb thing attached to a fleshy, lumpy body, located somewhere in space move in a myriad of ways. Through a chain of events, I can even influence the physical world far beyond the grasp of my arm. For example, by forcing air through some fleshy bladders and tubes and such, I can create sonic phenomena, which can psychically be interpreted as my thoughts and will by others. I can then, by sheer force of will, cause these other bodies to carry out various tasks via psychic persuasion.

Thought is a funny thing you know? Humans have long concerned themselves with how and why people think, and the consequences of thought. But I'm really curious as to where I'm thinking. Am I thinking inside my brain, or am I thinking in some non-physically defined space which receives input through my brain, which is located where my head is, which is located where the rest of my body is, most of the time. Can we really be said to be thinking somewhere? As an entire being, where am I? Can you give me the coordinates of my being? What is my location. Where is my body, and where is my soul? Even just my physical body's location can't be pinpointed. It can be here, but it can also be there. My left index finger is on the "f" key, but my right index finger is on the "j", meanwhile, my butt remains in a chair, and my feet on the floor. They are in many places, and they are all my body. My body is in a range of places. My body is at a desk. It is in a room. It is in a building. In a neighbourhood. City. Province. Country. Planet. Hurtling zillions of kilometers and hour in who knows what direction? At any given time, I am here, I am here, I am here... At any given time? 2 seconds ago, I was a zillion kilometers away in some unknown direction. Where am I know? More like, what is my location is the average location of my body over a given time period. Or more precisely, the average location of my body as delta tee approaches zero. Then there's my thoughts. Where are they? In that brain of mine, whipping around the universe, which doesn't have a location either. Where is the universe? Is it here, or is it somewhere else? Is my soul somewhere in all of that? Probably. But maybe not.

Project Naytal

Yeah, I've been checking out a bunch of videos of Microsoft's new Project Natal accessory. It's really pretty cool. I'm a Nintendo fanboy, but I'm not going to let my loyalties sway me this time. It's what people have dreamed of since the dawn of... well.. maybe a couple of decades. Yeah. It looks incredible.

However, I do have some qualms about it. Well, from the demos so far that people are singing the praises of, it really is just a glorified EyeToy. Well yeah, it's a lot better than the EyeToy, but none more than what should be expected. The EyeToy came out.. what.... 2003? It's been a bit more than six years since then. I'd say that an EyeToy plus six years of development could have handled that little breakout game, or even that racing game. Natal is really exactly what we should have been expecting. The technology isn't really breaking news. Anyways, the EyeToy was a good idea, but it was orphaned long ago. The only difference in what was and what is to come is the investment of time and money, and some really good PR.

Then there's Milo. That little British AI blew my mind when I first set eyes upon the demo. But I realized, it wasn't Natal I was impressed with at the time. It was the incredible depth of character that Milo showed. THAT'S what amazed me. It wasn't really the facial/voice recognition. We have those already. Sure, not in a game. But those technologies aren't really that mind blowing. "Passing" objects through the camera was pretty cool, but it was little more than a gimmick. And certainly, it was NOT the fish minigame that impressed me. The EyeToy was capable of that. So really, Milo is just a really cool piece of software. It wasn't really a Natal demo at all. I guess I just got caught up in the buzz.

Finally, the thing that cooks my grits the most is how all those Microsoft bigwigs have been repeating what Nintendo's been saying since they announced the Wii, and touting it as their own. Throwing out words like "immersion", "interactivity", "accessibility" and things like that. Like come on. Nintendo started that whole craze. Microsoft might be picking up the ball and running a bit faster with it now, but they can't think of themselves as the innovators. That was clearly Nintendo.

Okay I lied. The thing that gets me worked up the most about Natal is its name. Nah-TAHL. Why do they say it like that? Natal is already a word! It's pronounced NAY-tal. At least Nintendo's stupid console names are made up themselves. Wii. It's not already a word. They get to decide how to say it. But natal already exists. Microsoft doesn't get to decide how we say that word!

Blah. And that's all. Anyways, I'm actually really excited to see what people do with this. It's just that I'm not expecting the second coming or anything. And honestly, I think Nintendo's switch to motion control was a bigger "Revolution" than this little gadget is.

Make a Wish

I was just watching a Japanimation, and they mentioned making wishes on shooting stars. But I hate making wishes. Like when you eat foldy chips, or on New Year's Eve, or anything like that. Wishes make you remember the things that you don't have. They make me kind of sad. And in particular, they make me remember the things that are wrong with me. Not so much like, the "I wish I was taller" or "I wish I was more good looking" or "I wish I was richer". More like, "I wish I wouldn't screw up so much" or "I wish I was a better son/brother/friend" or "I wish I could live up to my own standards". They make me feel rotten on the inside. But it's not their fault or anything. It's just my own. And that makes me feel even worse. If feeling bad was a wish's fault, then I wouldn't be to blame. But I am. Oh, I am.